You tell them that Porter is coming.

Meet Porter, the newest edition to our family. Porter is a 13 week old male boxer, who was given to us by a friend who rescued him from some people who didn't have room for him in their home. He came to us on Saturday, and has been adjusting quite well. He is getting along well with Lina, our 10 year old female boxer. He is full of energy, but seems well mannered. We are looking forward to lots of great times with our new dog.

Final draft of the Boxer versus Briefs paper.

This is the final draft of my paper that was turned in today. The format was changed slightyly by pasting it into blogger. Thank you all for your input and editing help. I should know by next Tuesday what I got on the paper.

Boxers versus Briefs
A quick glance at what is in America’s pants

America is at war. At war with a faceless adversary who is fanatical about the beliefs they hold. This war has been waging for years and has solid uncrossable lines. These lines have become a bit softened in recent years, but the sides remain as resilient as ever. The war has to do with the very thing that supports our nation . . . Our underwear; specifically men’s underwear. The debate over whether it is better to wear boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, or to “go commando” has been waging between men (and women) for decades.

It could be a safe assumption that early man did not argue with one another over the use of fig leaves versus turtle shells as to which was a better undergarment. Historians have found remains of Egyptian Pharaohs buried with their loincloths, presumably for use in the afterlife. It wasn’t until around the 13th century that pull-on undergarments were invented and began to see regular use by society. These are the forefathers so to speak of today’s various types of underwear. The Industrial Revolution and the technology it brought saw the beginning of mass produced undergarments. For the first time, people could buy their undergarments in a store, rather than making them at home. These were what we know today as “Long Johns”. (History of Men’s Underwear) In today’s fashion driven oversexed marketplace necessity rarely drives purchases, and one could hardly see buying some long underwear as a fashion statement. There are several types of undergarments- specifically for men that dominate the fashion marketplace today. They are:

· Briefs. Also known as tighty-whiteys. These are tight fitting, elastic lined undergarments, usually cotton, that fit around the waist and high throughout the thighs.

· Boxers. These are the traditional looking “shorts” usually with an elastic waistband and looser through the thighs and come down to about mid thigh. They can be made from all sorts of materials from silk, to flannel.

· Boxer Briefs. These are a combination of both of the above garments. They look like boxers, however, fit snugly all throughout. Usually made of a cotton/lycra/wool blend.

· Thong/G-Strings. These are rarely found to be worn by men, unless they are dancers in the exotic industry. They consist of very little fabric of various types, snugly fitting the genitals and having a thin string or piece of fabric running between the legs and connecting in the back. Also known as a “T-Back”

· Commando. This is a slang term for one who wears no underwear at all. Also known by slang as “freeballing” in men, and “freebuffing” for females. This is becoming more acceptable in today’s hygienically active society. Bathing once a day or more reduces the need for underwear as protection. Also in our hypersexed culture, seeing underwear as the final barrier before sex, the lack of that barrier is a more risqué approach to attracting partners. Traditionally the Scottish Kilt is worn without any undergarments. (History of Men’s Underwear)

For this discussion, the focus will be on the two main camps in the fight on which undergarment is the best to wear- boxers and briefs, however, a look at both boxer briefs and the commando approach will be discussed. According to a recent poll conducted on the author’s website 39% out of eighteen responses, wear or prefer boxers, while a tie of 28% wear or prefer briefs or boxer briefs. A single vote of one individual wearing or preferring to “go commando” gives this choice a 5%. The graph below represents these numbers.

Graph 1

This polling trend shows boxers leading out just a skidmark ahead of briefs and boxer briefs. All sides of this argument that are represented have a multitude of reasons why they wear or prefer the garment of their choosing. (Rutherford) The following is a look at the various reasons that each camp uses to support their war cry of “Our undies are better than yours!”

Briefs people have usually gone with the policy of “Mighty tighty whiteys, and I’m smuggling plumbs.” This refers to the idea that briefs offer more support in the crotch area, and therefore is a better undergarment. There is also an issue of mobility. Because briefs fit more snugly, and have no thigh coverage to speak of, movement of the legs is less restricted by bunching and tightening of fabric. A larger number of overweight or heavily muscled men have trouble wearing boxers due to the fact that a standard cut fit may be too tight for thicker thighs. Some women also prefer the look of a physically fit man in briefs – just look at a Calvin Klein ad and you will see the “perfect body” model posing in just his briefs.

The boxer brief camp is relatively new to the fight, not becoming largely accepted on the marketplace until the early to mid 1990’s. (History of Men’s Underwear) This camp represents the fence sitters of the groups. They want the snug fit and support of briefs, but the coverage of boxers. This is perhaps just a fashion trend, and may die out when the “next big thing” comes along. This is sort of an initial step for people leaving one side or the other. People not quite ready to make the move out of their camp entirely may land in this category. This seems to be another fashion that is looked upon favorably by the female of the species lately.

“Going Commando.” This is sort of the radical extremist cell of the group. These people are undying in their convictions of “giving up the shackles of modern society and their underwear.” This is sort of a “keep your societal norms out of my pants” mantra for this group. The author had a hard time finding anyone who would admit to this way of life. It is sort of a taboo style of clothing. Many a man has a story about the girl he met at a club or wherever who was “freebuffing.” As with any situation, a group who goes against the societal norm should be approached with caution.

Boxers, the leader in the poll, and the choice of undergarment of the author, has many scientific and historical reasons behind its being the winner. There is a lot of medical research that believes that the wearing of boxers can increase fertility, due to the lack of heat building and constricted blood flow throughout the testicles that briefs have. For families looking to conceive, doctors have for years advised patients to switch to boxers. Up until the early 90’s, the only undergarment issued to troops by the U.S. Military were boxers. This policy has changed in recent years and now for the most part enlistees can choose the undergarment of their preference. There is also an access advantage with boxers. Boxers have a slit opening in the front, sometimes offering a button, but more often not. This allows easier access when going to the bathroom, as opposed to briefs/boxer briefs that have a series of elastic folds to contend with.

The author grew up as a briefs person, many times trying boxers and boxer briefs only to return to his original camp. On the advice of a female friend, the author purchased and tried a pair of cotton boxers. The fit, comfort, and look was all it took to instantly change camps from briefs to boxers. The author has been forever changed after seeing the light at the end of the elastic crotch flap, and will never go back again.

So what does all this mean? It means that Americans are as diversified in their undergarment choices as they are as a people. It means that there is plenty of room for all sides of the underwear battle, although the obvious choice is boxers. Judging by the numbers, it is a close call for the three contenders. So is this a question of the ages? Will historians one hundred years from now be debating this in colleges? Only time will tell.

Works Cited

“History of Men’s Underwear.” http://www.manstouch.com/
Rutherford, Eric. “A Brief Poll” 10 October 2005.
www.inflightmissilerepairman.blogspot.com

I didn't sign up for this.

Saturday night I was watching Off to War on the Discovery Times channel. This is a documentary that chronicles an engineering company and their families back home, as they get deployed to Iraq. This has been a really good show, and I have enjoyed every episode immensely. There was something in the newest episode that I saw that bothered me though. This is something I have been noticing more and more lately, both in the media and in real life. It is the “Poor me, I didn’t sign up for this” attitude that a lot of Soldiers/Marines/Sailors/Airmen seem to be having lately. Well, not a lot, it just seems that way because they are the only ones ever talking to the media (I expect that everyone else who doesn’t feel that way is busy doing their jobs.) I see it a lot, in this particular case, it was a bunch of guardsmen whining about “only signing up for one weekend a month, two weeks a year.” Throughout the series you hear soldiers saying, “I did not sign up for this” or “We weren’t trained to handle this.” My question is: Could the media please seek out members of the armed services who are proud of what they are doing, and understand the inherent risks with putting on the uniform?

With the release of the movie Jarhead coming out, it just compounds the disgruntled soldier image. Now, I have not read this book, just the jacket and reviews on Amazon. I have no intention if seeing this movie, and am saddened by the fact that no one can seem to make a decent movie about the Marines (Full Metal Jacket excluded). The other night I was in Borders getting my MLA Handbook for Research Writers, and Matt was looking for Bing West’s newest book. We were looking through the military section and the gulf war subsection. Almost every book in there was written by or about soldiers who were pissed about being solders. It was depressing. I was an active duty soldier, and am now a national guardsman. I am deeply proud of both. Yes, there are times when it sucks worse than most people could ever imagine. Yes, there is a high likelihood of getting killed or badly wounded, and yes, there is about a 100% chance that you will get told to do something that you do not want to do. So help me God, I am going to freak if I hear one more member of the Armed Forces spout off “I only signed up for the college money.” I can tell you that there are many, many cheaper ways to pay for education. I am just baffled by the large number (or at least it seems that way) of people in the military who think that it is not their job to go off to fight at the whim of the Commander In Chief. The second a person raises their right hand and says,

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the
Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the
orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers
appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military
Justice. So help me God.

they release all rights that they have as a U.S. citizen. Something a person must understand about the military is that it doesn’t require a democracy to protect one.

Which brings me to the point of this ranting. Our great nation is doomed. Not because of corrupt politicians. Not because of communism. Not because of terrorists. Not because of a poor economy, but because of the large majority of its citizens. Our country is filled with people who are more concerned with themselves, and what is in it for them, than whether or not our nation will survive another century. But fear not faithful readers, I have a solution. It is not a comfortable one; in fact it is downright painful for most. It is, however, extremely simple. Mandatory national service. Note I said “National service” not “military service.” There is something like 50 nations that have conscription, or a draft of some sort with varying requirements. My plan is an easy one, at least in theory. Every legal citizen who turns 18, at time of graduation from high school, must join one of the available national service programs. The term is two years, during which time the individual will wear some sort of uniform, live in a barracks style environment, and be responsible for obeying all laws set forth by the mandatory national service doctrine that would be drafted up. No pun intended

I am sure that by now there are a whole bunch of people who are disagreeing with me, and saying that not everyone can take part, and that it violates a persons’ rights. Wrong and wrong. Why? First off, because this is my blog and I am always right on it. Secondly, there is no reason why someone cannot participate in this, unless they are severely mentally or physically disabled. What I have in mind is a large portion of people would join the armed forces. But a lot of people could also join one of many national work programs building houses, neighborhoods, national parks, and roads. The main point here, is that young Americans would be required to do something meaningful before they could take part in American society. I feel that what would come of this, is a less selfish nation of people who were involved in something bigger than themselves. As far as violating a person’s rights goes, rights only mean squat if there are people to protect them. Certain inalienable rights does not include exemption from having to serve the country that provides those rights.

So anyway, I will get off my little soapbox for the meantime. This is going to be the topic of my next writing assignment. I am still compiling data. If you look to the far right of the page, I have a new poll. You guessed it … It has to do with mandatory national service. Also, if you want to read accurate accounts of the war on terror in Iraq, just click the Michael Yon button to the right.

My last few weeks in review

I know it has been a while since I have had an update blog, so here it goes. Working backward. I had my drill with the guard for the month of October. It went quite well. As I had hoped, I was able to shoot expert on the rifle range-- scoring 39 out of 40 with my rifle. I was pumped. Only a couple others shot as well or better.

School. School started on the 26th of September. So far, I like all of my classes, and in my Math 095 class, I had my first test and scored 91%! I have a paper due in my writing class on Tuesday, and I will post the final draft here for all to read as soon as it is done. The next blog post I am working on has to do with my next paper's topic. So far school is kicking ass, and I am looking forward to doing well.

My car is back on the road! It took about a month to get enough money to make it happen, and I still don't trust it, but at least I have a decent looking car that has a stereo, and such amenities as power windows and locks. Let's all hope it lasts for a while.

Fun stuff. I saw A History of Violence. It was pretty good. It was definitely violent, but in the parts with no violence, or gratuitous sex and nudity, it seemed slow and disjointed. I wouldn't suggest seeing it for full price, but economy price or at somewhere like Northern Lights would be worth the investment. Monday night I was talking to my friend Roberda, and she asked me what was up for my Tuesday evening. I of course had nothing going on. She was in Portland for some training thing, and thought we might get a chance to hang out. I took a chance with my other crappy car (1984 GMC S-15 Jimmy) and headed to Portland to meet up for some undetermined evening plans. We took Max to downtown from Roberda's motel, and immediately began looking for some food as we were both starving. We ended up eating a fantastic dinner at Pazzo. We both had the salmon stuffed ravioli. It was awesome. She and I then ventured to find a local coffee shop for a cup of java. I had a grande black forest mocha and it was pretty darn tasty. It was getting pretty late at that point, Roberda had class the following day, and I had school as well. We caught Max back to the airport, and got a shuttle to her motel. I headed back home, and almost immediately got lost on Killingsworth. I ended up taking Killingswort/Portland Ave all the way to MLK, then MLK to Broadway and got on I-5. It was a very ethnic journey. All in all, I had a blast adventuring about P-Town with Roberda, and look forward to doing it again soon.

Today I watched football at Tyler's. The Beavers beat Cal, and USC beat Notre Dame. It wasn't televised, but the Ducks beat Washington! All in all, a great day in college football. Sorry for not including any links in this post. It is late, and I am feeling too lazy to work on links.

New site content

So if you feast your eyes onto the far right of the page, just above the links section, I have now added a polling box. Mostly I will use this for asking questions for my writing class and what not, but from time to time, I will mix it up a bit. Please, vote responsibly.

A Brief Poll.....

So I have my first writing assignment coming up in my Argument Writing class. We had to pick a topic that we had no strong feelings about, then write a 3-5 page paper about said topic.

My topic?

Boxers vs. Briefs.

So I am conducting my first ever poll here on my blog. This poll will be finalized Wednesday, October 12, at 3pm PST. So to my audience, well, mostly my male audience (although women can answer in one of two ways, what their significant other wears, or which she prefers) I ask this question:

Do you wear;

Boxers?

Briefs?

Boxer briefs?

Or go Commando?

Please post your responses in the comments section.

Thanks for your input!