5.17.2005

It's not what you know, but WHO you know.

So last night Was Lisel's birthday party. After the party, I was heading home, and remembered that I needed to get milk. So I drove right past the house, and headed back to Salem to go to Safeway South. As I am heading towards Turner past my house, down the hill I go, zipping along at about 65-70 Mph. Right as I get towards the bottom of the hill, I notice the things that were about to make my happy little evening bad. Three cop cars. I slow down, and head to the stop sign and head into Turner. I knew I was boned when I saw the back-up lights on the Turner P.D. car. All three cars pull out behind me, and they put the light on me as soon as I got into the city limits. I pull over right away and turn off my truck. Turner's newest officer "Smilin Joe" approaches me and asks me where I was going in such a hurry. I respond..."To get some milk." He tells me I was doing 70, and I played dumb. I pass over my credentials, and he goes to the back of my car and runs my tags. I hear some laughing from behind my truck, and another officer approaches my door. I had a brief vision of all of the cops episodes where they discuss arresting an individual before one of the cops just open the door and ask me to step out. As the office gets to my window, I hear "Rutherford, why the fuck are you going so fast?" Kind of shocked, I look up trying to figure out what was going on, and see a guy I went to high school with. Darren Blaylock has apprently become an Aumsville police officer. We had a quick little catch up session while I am pulled over, and then Smilin Joe hands me my papers back and says, "You're lucky he recognized you, otherwise you woulda gotten a big ticket."

So as you can see, it's not what you know, its who you know.

13 Comments:

At 5/18/2005 1:18 AM, Blogger Alien Shaman said...

Who the hell was he? Lucky you d00d... Gotta love when cops have nothing better to do than tag you for going a WEE bit over the posted speed limit.

During our garage sale the cops here were so bored they were ticketing people for not parking properly when racing up to a garage sale. Really though, I can't complain too much because I would rather have them doing that than having a need to chase down dealers and pimps in the neighborhood.

 
At 5/18/2005 10:19 AM, Blogger ted said...

I think it's funny that not only were there two Turner cop cars on duty and doing nothing, but also an Aumsville cop over there just doing nothing as well. Anyone able to tell me why Turner needs two cruisers on duty simultaneously? Glad I only have to pay taxes to support Salem cops.

You left out my favorite part of the story, though. I liked the part where your Blazer starts spewing steam and coolant and Darren Blaylock asks you if you know what the problem is and you say, "I dunno, what is it?" And he goes, "because you're going too damn fast." I thought that was funny.

If the title of you post is true, then it's a good thing for you, since you obviously don't know anything. You should have come flying out of your Blazer blasting. Or maybe that's just how I roll.

 
At 5/18/2005 1:42 PM, Blogger Tim Lewis said...

What do you love, bro? Now this is happening.

 
At 5/18/2005 2:53 PM, Blogger ted said...

Poetry, a fine scotch, and little Baxter here.

 
At 5/18/2005 2:55 PM, Blogger Gunslinger said...

The man.....

The bad man punted baxter....

I am in a glass case of emotion....

He punted baxter!!!

 
At 5/18/2005 2:56 PM, Blogger ted said...

You know, while you're crying, I'd have been introducing him to Jack Johnson and Thomas O'Leary.

 
At 5/19/2005 2:22 AM, Blogger Gunslinger said...

I love lamp!

 
At 5/19/2005 11:52 AM, Blogger ted said...

Great, bears! Now you've endangered the entire newsroom!

 
At 5/19/2005 11:53 AM, Blogger ted said...

You may want to lay low for a while. Do you have some relatives you can stay with?

 
At 5/19/2005 11:53 AM, Blogger ted said...

It's made with real bits of panther.

 
At 5/19/2005 11:53 AM, Blogger ted said...

Look at that glorious rainbow!

 
At 5/19/2005 11:54 AM, Blogger ted said...

I don't like you, but dammit, I respect you.

 
At 5/19/2005 11:54 AM, Blogger ted said...

Back to you, Tits McGee.

 

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