Cinco De Wacko

Two out of three ain't bad I guess.

So Cinco De Mayo will be a most memorable one for me this year. Three things happened, all of them unique and amazing in their own right.

While a lot of people were out bathing in Corona, Dos Equis, Limes, Carnitas, and Enchiladas, I was busy having a fairly off the wall week. Now some of you may know, that May 3rd was the release date for the much anticipated, and already delayed several times, Forza Motorsports. So I was really bummed to find out that it was going to be actually available on the 4th. A whole day later. But I digress. So I was sitting at home on the 5th, playing the crap out of my new awesome game, awaiting the arrival of Liam, and going to the hospital to meet him. There were several delays in my getting there, and as it turned out, I didn't go until about 5 pm.

So the first thing on my list of truly unique things to happen on Cinco De Mayo, was the arrival of the first baby borne to my siblings that will carry on the family name. Hooray Ted!

The second, and not good thing to happen to me, was the (I hope) prank phone call that I got on the way to the hospital. A little background, I have been selling several cars over the last couple of months, so my number is published in the nickel ads, and I have been answering my phone every time it rings. The call comes in as restricted. I think cool, maybe it is that guy calling me back that I talked to the other day. His number came in as restricted as well. Answer the phone...
Female voice; "Is Eric there?"
me; "this is he"
F; "Hi Eric, I got your number off of one of those internet dating sites, and I thought I would call you, because I'm not looking for a relationship, just a lot of hot sex."
Me, laughing; "Which site did you get my number off of?" (Knowing that those sites don't publish phone numbers, even for paying customers.)
F; "I saw it on like three of them."
me; "Really? Interesting"
F; "Yeah, so Like I was saying, I just want to have lots of hot sex. Are you into bondage?"
Me; "Um, no."
F: "Oh, because my last boyfriend was. Anyway, I broke my dildo."
Me; "How tragic. Which dating site exactly did you get my number from again?"
F, after pause and discussion with someone else. "Match dot com."
Me; "Um, they don't post phone numbers."
F; "I don't see why you are getting into a tiff, I just want to have sex. I just got a new baseball bat, and was hoping you might want to use that on me."
Me; "What?"
F, not missing a beat; "So, how long have you lived off smith* rd?"
Me, now seriously shocked, pissed, and nervous. "What did you just say? Tell you what, I am kind of busy, give me your number and I will call you back in a half hour."
F, hangs up.
I immediately go into operational security mode, (for once in my life skipping the "I shoulda said...") Matt and I started to reverse analyze the call. Was it spyware? Was it someone I know putting a girl up to it? Was it the guy that called about the blazer trying to case me for a robbery? Was it just a random prank call?
We get to the hospital, and I start making calls. I call Steve for advice on internet security issues, and kind of calm down on the spyware aspect, after he tells me that people hacking me would be a little more sophisticated than to prank me. To be on the safe side, I call the Marion County sheriff's Office to report the strange event. The only reason I was freaking out, was the mention of the street I lived on. (*Street name changed to protect me.) I then called the only other people I knew in my area that could swing by my house, some friends at Turner Fire. I called my paramedic friend Ron, and asked him to do a couple of drive-bys to check on the security. He gladly helped me, and everything was fine. To date, nothing has come of it, and I am almost positive that it was just a prank call based on the call from the guy for my blazer ( I told him I lived off of smith rd.) I am not sure what was more shocking, the fact that she knew where I lived, or that she wanted me to shove a baseball bat up her ass.

The third thing, and so far the most enjoyable for me, that happened on Cinco De Mayo, wasn't actually discovered until Friday the 6th. I got up, around 10 am like any other day, turned on my computer to check my email. I have several accounts, and one of my old ones that just fills mostly with junk, had a huge pleasant surprise waiting in it for me. It read "Classmates.com, Eric you have new mail from Gina." My first thought was "Holy F-ing crap!" I then read the short message, and started to post a reply. Gina was one of my high school sweethearts. The story is that my junior year in high school I had a really awesome girlfriend, but was hopelessly infatuated with "That neighbor girl" So, I wrote up a little note breaking the hard news, that for apparently no reason whatsoever, I was breaking up with Gina. I had my friend Chris give it to her on the bus trip to a weekend symposium to OSU. I know, I suck. (big surprise that I never heard from her again, or even heard from her now, ten years later.) The relationship with "That neighbor girl" lasted a long miserable time, and eventually ended. Gina graduated early, and vanished forever.

So I get an email from her on Friday, I post a reply, and receive hers. Including a phone number. I send on mine. Do I call her right away? Do I wait 24 hrs? 48? Well, she solved that problem by calling me Saturday night, saying that she will be in town and that we should go catch up. "This will be interesting, if nothing else," I thought. We met for drinks, and had an amazing time. We talked about everything under the sun, and It was very cool. She had to leave for work again, but we decided that we should get together again on her way back through town. That was last night. Once again we had a totally awesome time. So, needless to say, I am totally glad that she found me, paid 15 bucks to email me, and I am excited to start having adventures with my new, old friend.

So my Cinco De Wacko was both weird and memorable. No cervezas, no pinatas, but lots of memories none the less.


At 5/12/2005 9:13 PM, Blogger ted said...

You should have had her over, judging from her picture with the bat she's kinda hot. What I don't understand is why Steve has a bat in his picture, too.

Did MCSO have anything even remotely helpful to say when you called them?

Did you tell Gina that Chris did that on his own and you always wondered why she stopped talking to you?

Is it at all weird to you that you that like a week before this when you and I were talking you mentioned Gina?

At 5/13/2005 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...big bat. Yeah, i would say that that was a slightly eventful days, full of weird things that simply don't take place on a day to day. Poor monkey.

At 5/13/2005 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if the monkey was getting ready to bat poo rather than simply throw it?

At 5/13/2005 1:11 PM, Blogger Tim Lewis said...

So...when are we going to meet Gina?


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