My idea for a great film that I am going to make someday

So the other night, we were at the Dragonfly, and talking about movies. One of the films we talked about, although briefly, was the idea of making a G.I. Joe movie, but put a comic twist on it like the remake of Starsky & Hutch. I know what you are saying, "yeah right that would be dumb". EXACTLY! That is why it would be so badass. Ted and I were talking a little bit about this today, and came up with some good ideas. The premise of the entire film, is that G.I. Joe, and the Cobras, are a bunch of bumbling nitwits. Also, about every 23 minutes into the show, there would be one of those lame ass PSAs that they did, you know, the "Knowing is half the battle." I did a little bit of snooping, and came up with these. All I have to say is that this is hilarious. The one with Gung Ho, Roadblock, and Snowjob are a few of he best. If you cannot identify who those characters are by the picture, you should run outside and hang yourself right now.

But I digress.

So, the whole idea behind he movie is that there is a little community service every 23 minutes, and every so often there is a huge battle in some remote place over nothing at all. No one gets hurt, and the rest of the populous never seems to notice these idiots driving an AWE striker to the grocery store. Let alone a ninja hanging out with a sailor and a guy wearing full snow gear. Sounds like the line up of a three guys walk into a bar joke. There is an occasional scene where the good guys are all standing around in a comm. center looking at some devastation caused by Cobra, so then 4 people go to try and stop them. I can work on the story line later. You all can help.

Two scenes I think would be enourmously funny, is in a huge firefight where the opposing forces keep shooting red and blue lasers at each other and just keep marching toward one another. This could perhaps be the big final battle. They end up just a foot or two away on opposite sides, and like millions of laser blasts are going off. They all have stunned looks on their faces, because not one single person is getting killed. Now, I know this part is a pretty much straight Monty Python's Holy Grail rip-off, but how about at the end of said firefight, the "real" local authorities come and arest them all.

Here is the line up of characters/actors that Ted and I came up with.

Duke. - Owen Wilson. Every 15 minutes, he goes into a coma with the age old "Yo Joe. . . " line. The twist is, each time he does, he has a Skywalker/Obi-Wan-esque dream encounter, but with Gunnery Sgt. Hartman (The drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket played by R. Lee Ermey.) Where ole gunny screams obscenities at him until he wakes up.

Cobra Commander. Anyone, he wears a mask. You can dub in that whiny-bitch voice.

Flint.- I was thinking Vince Vaughn, because he would really be the one in charge.

Destro. Now how do you get anyone to look authentically chrome?

Snake Eyes. - See Cobra Commander

Stalker. - Snoop Dogg (Hes the guy who can get you stuff)

Doc. -After seeing the Mock PSA, I thought perhaps snoop could play this character better than stalker, but I thik Sam Jackson could do alright.

Shipwreck. - Steve Lemme. He is from Broken Lizzard. Actually, most of the guys from Broken Lizzard would be really good at a lot of these roles. maybe I will call them, and try to pitch the idea.

Ted thought that Dr. Mindbender could be played by John Turturo. Not bad

Roadblock. - I was thinking Dennis Haysbert. He played Cerrano in Major League



The ones I need but can't figure out right now are:

Gung-Ho
Major Blood
Hawk
The Baronness (Ted had someone for this, but I forgot who.)
Lady Jay (Brittany Murphy?)
Scarlet (insert redheaded hotty here)
Recondo
WIld Bill (Some loud ass Texan)
Bazooka
Barbeque (Mask)
Cover girl (Shannon Elizabeth?)
Leatherneck
Storm Shadow (mask)
Fire fly (Mask)
Tomax and Xamot (Twins)
All of the Dreadnoks;
Zartan
Zandar
Zarana
Torch
Buzzer
Monkeywrench
Ripper
Thrasher

I got all of the character names out of the roll call pages of this site.

I look forward to all of your comments, let me know what you think, give me casting ideas, or tell me I am retarded (this I already know.) I honestly think, that a well done parody style film, maybe done by the guys at Broken Lizard, maybe done by Todd Phillips, would be hilarious. So enjoy the topic, I need to start script writing and making story boards. Who's comin with me?