Why 2 Baja Chicken soft tacos, an Enchirito, a bean burrito, and Nachos supreme mixed with about 9 cokes is a bad idea.

After telling Ted this story on the phone, he thought I should post this so that no one else makes the same mistakes as me.

OK, Yesterday I had Chili for lunch, and two cokes. No biggie, that is a pretty standard meal, right? At about 7:30 last night I got back home with my Taco Bell order. I had two baja chicken soft tacos, an enchirito, a bean burrito, and nachos supreme. Throughout the course of the evening, I probably had 9 cokes from about 5pm till 130am when I retired. (Because I had to get up at 5 to pull a 12 hour shift as the EMT at the fire station.) Now, Matt was with me last night, and while his menu choices weren't as varied, they were apparently more potent. It wasn't an hour after he had finished eating that he had to rush to my bathroom to, as he put it "Do a very bad thing" For the rest of the evening, about every 10 minutes, Matt did something that smelled like a cross between a pit toilet and roadkill. He finally left at about 1030, because he said he was going to do something even worse in the bathroom than before and didn't think it was right to use my bathroom. Ted can attest to this conversation, because he was playing XB-live with us.

My "Fire down below" didn't rear its ugly head until I went to bed. I became what I was calling "Gassy" from hideous burps to noxious flatulence, I didn't get to sleep until well after 3am. I woke myself up at about 430 with a nice case of acid reflux, so bad in fact, that I was the lucky recipient of a mouthful of really bad stomach acid. Ugh! I staggered out to the kitchen thinking back to 6th grade science, where Mr. Woelk showed us that Milk was a base. That's it, pure white milk cures all!! DAMN!!! There was about a shot glass worth of milk in the jug. Of course, I was probably the one responsible for that. Stupid Karma. SO instead devoured about 6 tums. MMM, Tropical flavors. I pretty much just stayed up after that and got ready for duty. Waited until I got to the station and slept for a few hours in a recliner. MY stomach was still making weird bubbly noises when I decided to take another nap at 1pm. So for at least 12 hours, I was suffering a "Montezuma's Revenge-esque" Disaster caused by about 35 seconds of indiscretion at the Taco Bell counter.

It is now 1045PM, and I can say that the roast with mashed taters and gravy with a big glass of milk was the perfect dinner. One more big glass of milk before bed, and I should be good to go for tomorrow. Maybe I will have Mexican for lunch. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to get another 12 pack of coke. Or, as I like to call it, "My cracklin black mistress."


At 1/09/2005 11:08 PM, Blogger Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

Funny, yet gross LOL. Hope you are ok.

I love Coke... No milk for me though.

At 1/09/2005 11:20 PM, Blogger everyday.wonder said...

You have a talent for the truly terrible. I am so glad I don't live downwind of Turner. And I'm making the demand now--there will be NO Taco Bell for a 48 hour period preceding our D&D night. We don't want our nice D&D books to have frayed edges...


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